Bouncing back

Written by Linda Fairclough

Bouncing Back is a self help support group for people who have been through the breakdown of a long-term relationship. It was the vision of two members of St. Luke's Church, Knowsley Road, St. Helens - our vicar, the Revd Paul Day, and me. I had been divorced, although I’m now happily remarried.

Paul and I talked about how we could help people who had been hurt, rejected and sometimes physically or emotionally abused, abandoned or discarded for someone newer or younger. I knew their feelings only too well! We had a strong desire to help.

After prayerful reflection and some research into what other groups had done, we believed that a self-help support group with input on topics like forgiveness and self-esteem would be better than a course. So in September 2007, Bouncing Back was born.

We had advertised it widely, my husband giving out many flyers and putting posters in local shop windows. We decided to meet fortnightly on neutral ground, at the local GP surgery's community room. The GPs are church members and eager to see their medical centre used for outreach and care.

On the first night, five people attended and this soon grew to a core group of about eight. Some have been church members but most are from the local community. Other people have attended for a short time, leaving because they felt the group had helped them in their current situation.

We have continued to ‘advertise’, using our seasonal, glossy contact sheet as well as the posters in shops. We have attracted new people and the long-term members love to support and help them.

We have some simple rules to guide us, promising complete confidentiality, a safe place to share feelings, and never to be judgemental or negative.

We believe this group has been a success because God has been at the centre of it. We do not evangelise, but people see that the church cares. In fact, two of them have attended Christian courses, and one group member has recommitted her life to God after being hurt by her church when she was divorced. A male group member has become a Christian and is feeling much more peaceful and happy.

Where to now? Well, we will keep on going as long as people need us and want to keep coming. In October we are starting another self-help group for bereavement, based on our Bouncing Back model and experience.

Here are some comments from group members:

“Coming to the group has been a great help to me; being with a group of people who can empathise with each other makes me feel less frustrated."

"Bouncing Back has helped me identify issues I still have."

"I hope the group continues; it is helping everyone, I think, in their spiritual journey."

"Bouncing Back has helped me to come to terms with the past, and look at the now. I feel I have got to know God through this group."

"No-one, no church, had ever bothered to address divorce issues, and the pain and suffering. I thank God for this group."

“Finally I feel I have somewhere to belong.”

Last Updated 21 October 2008