Making the most of a marriage course

Katharine Hill is Head of Family Life at Care for the Family and has responsibility for the marriage and parenting agenda. She first ran The Marriage Course with her husband, Richard, in 1999, and has run two courses a year since. With about 25 couples on each course, around 500 couples have now been encouraged to work at their marriage. Here are some of the things Katharine has learned about running a course.

10 tips for running a marriage course

1. Start small. Richard and I started by running the course in our home with three other couples. They then became the course team and together we ran the course for couples in the church. Now an increasing number come from the community.
2. Use people’s different gifts to build a team – in our team we have one couple who love doing all the practical arrangements and food; another couple handle the booking fees.
3. Advertise widely. As well as promoting your course in church, consider putting posters and leaflets in community centres, GPs’ surgeries or local coffee shops. And personal recommendations matter! We end the course with a meal and the couples who have done the course invite their friends. We do a short presentation and interview couples who say how the course has helped their marriage. We invite the new guests to the next course; often, enough guests sign up so you’re ready to run the course again!
4. It feels like a valuable investment if you charge up front for the course, to cover the cost. (We never want the cost to be a barrier, so if couples can’t afford to pay, they just chip in what they can afford.)
5. Atmosphere is important. Use low lighting to replace strip lights. Tablecloths, tea light lanterns and flowers give the room a bistro feel. Play music as people arrive and during the meal (and during the exercises so they can’t be overheard).
6. If you don’t have someone who likes public speaking, use a course with a DVD. Even if you aren’t giving the talks, be vulnerable. Include stories of when you got it wrong. Vulnerability is very powerful.
7. The support of the leadership is important. If you are the leader and one of your congregation is running the course, and you’re married, then go on the course with your spouse. It sends a great message that this is a ‘normal’ thing to do.
8. Link with other churches in the area, so you can work together in running and promoting a course.
9. Pray (and keep on praying) for every aspect of the course – before, during and after.
10. Protect your own marriage – invest in your own marriage and find someone to pray specifically for you.

Last Updated 06 December 2010