Does anyone know your church exists?

Richard Hardy, Head of Church Relations at Care for the Family, explains what happened when he was looking for a particular church …

Question: How is the church like Doctor Who’s Tardis?

Answer: For those on the inside, it seems huge with plenty of room for all. For those on the outside it seems small, old and irrelevant. It can be passed by without being noticed.

I was once visiting church leader friends and, arriving at the manse, I realised that I was in time to surprise them by attending the evening service. I assumed the church would be near the manse. Unfortunately it was not.

I scoured the area looking for the church, but couldn’t find it. I went into the local newsagents – surely they would know? No. They could identify all the pubs, but not the church. I spent the next hour walking through the town, asking people in the street – but no-one seemed to know where the church was. As far as the general population was concerned, the church was invisible.

We can assume that everybody knows our church. But if they’ve not had reason to visit it, they probably don’t.

It’s one of those assumptions we make, that we might need to rethink when we want to engage with the community.

What about other assumptions we can make? The positive thing about the answer to the Tardis question is that once people are inside, it’s big enough for all. But is that really the experience of the new people who come inside our church?

We can assume we’re a welcoming church, but rarely test the hypothesis. Welcome isn’t necessarily something that develops naturally - it needs to be encouraged and developed carefully.

We can assume we’re a family church, yet give little thought to what that means. What type of families do we welcome? Ones just like ours? How will small children feel in church; teenagers; the elderly; the disabled; single parents? Could we go the extra mile, exploring the possibility of goody bags for toddlers, for example, or large print song books for those with sight difficulties?

We can assume we’re a friendly church. But if a new person doesn’t make five or six significant friends in their first year, will they stay? A team of befrienders could make sure each new person really does make friends and feel included.

Having moved myself in recent years, I’ve discovered the most challenging part of church. It wasn’t the initial welcome - that was great. It’s the time after the first flush of enthusiasm, but before you feel fully established. This is the time when the church assumes you’re in, so they can move on to make the next person welcome. It is at this point that friendliness really becomes important.

When we’re engaging with community and becoming family for many new people we would do well to think about whether we’re making misleading assumptions.

Last Updated 06 December 2010