Make church more welcoming

Richard Hardy suggests ways in which you can make people feel more comfortable.

A few years ago, a subtle but significant change took place. As pastor of a Portsmouth church, I began to notice that some people stopped coming into the church building for weddings and funerals. They would stand outside and wait for the services to finish, and then greet the guests or mourners.

I had never seen this before. When I asked people why they didn’t come in, some said they didn’t feel worthy; others said they didn’t believe. But the vast majority said they would feel foolish because they wouldn’t know what to do.

They wouldn’t know what to do. This presents a real challenge to those of us wanting to make church a far more welcoming place. How do we let people know and feel familiar with what happens in church before they come in?

1. Scrutinise what takes place inside, and make sure we eliminate anything that might make people feel foolish. Not knowing the words; not understanding the practises; not being able to find their place in the book; not knowing when to sit down or stand up; not knowing where the toilets are…
   The list is long. Many of the things that need attention we don’t see, because we’re familiar with church generally and our church in particular.
2. Find ways of giving people a feel and flavour of what they can expect when they come. You can do this either by describing it to them, or walking through what they might expect.
   I remember the first funeral my daughter, then aged five, attended. I took the time to tell her what would take place, so there would be no surprises or shocks for her.
   Or you could prepare a little film clip on DVD that could be given away in your community and to those who were likely to attend. It would give them a glimpse into your church and its services.
3. Open the building up more and more to community activity. The more people come into the place for things like parent and toddler, school performances, fun days and social activities, the more they’ll feel it is their place, and the easier it will be for them to come to things that are less familiar.
4. Rely far less on the church building to make the connections. Increasingly churches are discovering that in the initial phases of engaging with church, it’s the people that matter more then the plant.
   It’s as the community builds relationships of trust with members of your congregation and with you, and learn to trust you, that they will feel more at ease in the church when invited for things that are unfamiliar. By engaging with them in the normal things of life – in the playground, the library, the shops, the street, your home - they will be helped to grow more comfortable in the church.

Last Updated 06 December 2010