Will everybody feel welcome in your services?

If someone asked you to define a family service, what would you say?

You see, sometimes we use the same words but mean different things. We might talk about holding a family service, when we mean a service designed for children.

It’s logical to assume that parents will need the service to have some content that will appeal to their children. No-one wants the children to be bored. But those parents - and all the other adults - might also hope that there will be something in the service for them, too.

If we’re offering something for the family, let’s really make it for all the family. And when we think of family we need to think broadly.

‘Family’, these days, means different things to different people. Being family friendly means we need to take this into account. So we could ask ourselves whether our church is friendly to:

• Single parents
  - How might they feel if they came to our church events and services?
• Stepfamilies
  - Remembering that they are likely to have different children with them every week.
• Singles
  - Do they feel included and part of the family?
• Widows and widowers
  - They can feel very alone, particularly if their children live at a distance, or if they have no children.
• Divorced
  - Do they feel welcome and accepted?

The current family situation is complex – and therefore being family friendly is complex, too. It takes thought. We need to pick our language carefully. We can’t categorise or put in boxes.

During his talk to student ministers at a Bible College, a speaker said that single parents were often the new poor in our society. One student shot up his hand and stated categorically that this was not the case - his mother was a university professor and doing very well thank you.

As we move towards making our churches more family friendly, let’s be careful not to alienate those that we want to engage.

Last Updated 06 December 2010