Making the most of Fathers' Day

Richard Hardy explores ways churches can engage with dads.

Churches are rediscovering that there are opportunities to engage with men. The surprise is that men aren’t as closed to the church as we may have assumed. But what we need to discover is an approach that works for them and us.

As I have travelled around the UK and spoken to many church leaders about community engagement, one thing has become clear. The direct approach may work with men from inside the church, but it is not nearly so successful for those outside the church.

Meeting men on their terms

We need to meet them on their terms and on their patch. One church who wanted to engage with men in their role as fathers brought a group of six men to Care for the Family’s ‘A Rough Guide for Dads’ event in Cumbernauld, Scotland. Afterwards, they started a follow-on group using Care for the Family’s ‘21st Century Parent’ DVD. Fourteen dads came along and they now have a regular Dads’ Group.

How can your church use Fathers’ Day in a similar way? Can you put on something other than a service? What about something which will engage men indirectly – perhaps as dads, or something to do with work, or other interests?

Many men say they have few friends, little time to bond with their children, and no hobbies or interests. When we start thinking about engagement on these terms, the opportunities seem endless.

Here are some ideas. You could:

• Organise a ‘Challenge Weekend’, where a dad can take one of his children away to an outward bound centre with a group of other dads and their children. Read an article which gives you tips on arranging a weekend.
• Start a building/engineering project. For example, if you have a car mechanic in your group who knows what they’re doing, you could buy an old car and invite dads and their teenagers to strip it down and do it up for a needy single parent in the community.
• Arrange a one-off event, like a day-trip to the Motor Show, curry night, tickets for Top Gear, or set up a giant Scalectrix set in the church hall and have race nights.
• Host an all-night film night and show action movies.

Fathers’ Day gives us a great opportunity to start something new, or build on something that has already been established. The most important thing isn’t what you do – what’s vital is that it engages them as men.

Too often we are lazy in church – we take the easy way out and do something in a service. I’m not suggesting that we shouldn’t do that, but if we really want to engage men in the community, and the non-attending spouses of those wives who attend church, we need to use our imaginations. Fathers’ Day and what follows is a fantastic annual opportunity to spur us on to new initiatives.

Having built the relationship – having got men rubbing shoulders together and maybe even asking questions – you can then think about the next step. That might be meeting together to discuss an area of interest, like managing money, surviving stress, parenting, or other issues.

Richard Hardy, 2009

Find out more about 21st Century Parent at www.careforthefamily.org.uk/21Cfamily

Last Updated 06 December 2010