What is family?

‘Family’ was once summed up as mum, dad and 2.4 children. Well, the 2.4 is down to 1.6 – and as we all know, that’s not the only thing that’s changed.

Before we begin to engage, we need to think through what we mean by family. Let’s look at a few of the options, to demonstrate the need for us to really appreciate the ‘new normal’ – and to be sure we’ve thought about how to welcome them all.

The Stepfamily

This is the fastest growing family type in the UK. One or both members of the couple are bringing one or two sets of children together to create a new blended family. The complexities in this are huge. Care for the Family has resources designed to strengthen and support these families as they form, so that they survive. Second marriages are five times more likely to fail than first!

The Single or Lone Parent Family

The average age for someone in this family type is 35. There are many reasons for people to find themselves in this position – it’s not all about teenage pregnancies. And the huge majority haven’t made this life choice – it’s not where they’d planned to be. Care for the Family has a network to offer support to you and to them.

The Multiple Parent Family

In the complexities of modern life it is possible for a child to have had five fathers – all of whom at some time or another have had an influence on the child’s life. Imagine what that does to a child’s sense of self and security.

The Foster Family

Those who undertake this commitment are heroic. There are unique pressures here, especially when the foster children join the family’s birth children. Sometimes the foster children are there for a very short time before they are found permanent homes or move on elsewhere. The family dynamic changes every time a child joins or leaves the household. Visit www.fostering.net for more information.

The Adoptive Family

Here too there are unique challenges and pressures. Take a look at www.adoptionuk.org to find out more.

The Childless Family

Some of these couples feel at ease with their situation - others have made a positive choice not to have children. That doesn’t mean to say that it’s always easy. And for those for whom it was not a choice, there is need for much tact and love and understanding. Visit www.childlessnotbychoice.com for more information.

The Bereaved Family

There are those who have lost a child, and those who have lost their partner early in life. They need particular support and help. Care for the Family’s Bereaved Parents Network, and A Different Journey for those who have been widowed, are there to provide such support.

The Grandparent Family

In an increasing number of families, grandparents are bringing up their grandchildren. The reasons are numerous; and they are all individuals who need understanding and support. Find out more at www.grandparents-federation.org.uk.

The Carer Family

This is where a child cares for a chronically ill parent or a parent cares for a child. Visit www.carersuk.org to find out more.

This is just the start – there are many more family groupings you could put your mind to. Defining family is far from straightforward. And if we are to engage we need to be understanding, aware and supportive of families of all shapes and sizes.

Last Updated 13 October 2008