Connecting with couples after the birth of a baby

The birth of a baby is truly life changing. Often there is a sense of relief that the long months of pregnancy are over. The eventual arrival brings with it so many powerful emotions. There is often wonder at the miracle of new life, and the love the new parents feel is mixed with an overwhelming sense of responsibility.

The birth of a child is also one of those special opportunities that churches have to reach out to support parents at an important point in their lives. Research into family life shows that the transition to parenthood is a vulnerable time, and it offers an opportunity for those who want to support families to make a positive impact.*

Practical help

There are simple ways a church can offer practical help to new parents in the community. You can give flowers and a card - but a cake or hot meals show extra-special attention.

One church puts together a gift basket for new parents - with baby gifts, baked goodies for the parents, and a copy of 'The Sixty Minute Mother' book by Rob Parsons. They deliver the basket in person, which also allows them to offer babysitting help and to invite them to the church toddler group.

Instruction manual?

Most new gadgets come with an instruction manual, and occasionally even a practical DVD or website to help you make the most of your new toy. But with babies, there's no such thing as an instruction manual! So parenting groups can provide much-needed support and advice. According to the recent 'Across Scotland' survey, 77% of parents said they'd consider attending a parenting course, although only 5% had ever attended one.

Are you are planning to invite mums and dads to a parenting group, using a resource like Care for the Family's 21st Century Parent DVD? Then here are some things you may need to consider:

• It's often difficult for parents to find the time, so consider carefully the time of day and day of the week that's best for them - ideally, ask the parents what suits them.
• Can parents bring their child(ren) with them? If so, what arrangements will you need to make in order to provide a crèche? What do you need to do to ensure Child Protection issues are covered?
• Be sensitive to single parents.
• Do you provide baby-changing facilities and somewhere suitable to breastfeed?

An alternative would be to give (or lend) a copy of Care for the Family's 21st Century Parent DVD for parents to watch at home.

Loneliness can be an issue for first-time mums. They may have left a fulfilling job, and now find they are on their own all day with very few contacts, so a visitor may be very welcome. One idea is to set up a 'mentor mum' scheme where an experienced mother can visit for an hour or two to offer help and tips.

Parent and toddler groups are another great way to get out of the house and make new friends, but they can also be daunting to visit for the first time. Can you find some experienced mums who would befriend a new mum at the group, to take them under their wing until they settle in and make friends of their own?

Welcoming new babies as a church

Depending on your denominational affiliation, your church may hold baptism, christening or dedication services. You can personalise a Family Bible as a memento for the family, or arrange for an 'official' photograph of the big day.

This can be a good time to make an impression on a non-church family - the welcome they get may encourage them to come back, or to think of your church as 'their' church. Remember, a baptism, christening or dedication doesn't have to be the end of your connection with a family - it can be the beginning of a long-running relationship. Many couples nowadays consider getting married after they have a baby together - you can support them in that decision with marriage preparation and, of course, hosting the service.

*Family research papers published by Brannen & Collard (1982), Mansfield (1988, 1993, 2009)

Last Updated 18 November 2009