Building engagement into your normal life

Written by Richard Hardy

Often when we think about things like community engagement we assume (sometimes rightly) that it will require the investment of time and energy we simply don’t have.

But this need not necessarily be the case.

The best way to engage and to encourage others to engage is to build it into what you’re already doing. If you’re going shopping, offer to get something for someone else. It may add 10 minutes to the time it usually takes, but they could prove to be 10 minutes well spent. Inviting someone to join you at the gym; to join your family on a picnic; to come round for a meal; can have real effect.

Often it’s in these settings and in these ways that people make friends. This is also likely to be the context in which people feel relaxed enough to be themselves, and share their joys and sorrows.

A friend of mine, Geoff, told me how his neighbour was having real struggles with his teenage son. The neighbour had talked about his problems over the garden wall; Geoff had known the family for years. Because he owned his own company, Geoff decided to offer the teenager a part-time job for the summer.

The boy had just passed his driving test, but had no opportunity to practise his driving skills. So Geoff slightly prefabricated the need for an ad hoc driver for the summer. So for six weeks, they spent time in the car as Geoff was driven around, and during the hours they spent together, they talked. It didn’t take long for the teenager to start sharing the things that concerned him.

Geoff never betrayed his teenage driver’s confidences - but the neighbours began to notice the difference.

This illustrates the point.

My friend had to go where he was going in the car, and he could afford the small amount that it cost to pay the teenager for driving. (There was a bonus - he could prepare for the meeting he had to attend more effectively.) And he was prepared to take the risk of allowing a new driver at the wheel of his car.

Simply by opening up an area of his life, he was able to make real engagement.

Like Geoff, if you welcome people into your world, and give them time and attention, it’s amazing what can be accomplished. It’s as we include people in our normal lives and enter theirs that they begin to tell us their real needs and dreams.

Try taking a little time to think through what you already do, and how you might include others in the doing of it.

Starting can be the hardest part. There is sometimes an embarrassment factor that takes some getting over. Take your courage in both hands and you will find it’s very rare that people will turn you down.

Last Updated 09 February 2009