Loneliness: closer than you think

I heard those familiar words as I stood in the playground last week, “Are you the woman that runs the toddler group at the church?”.

The question came from a lady who carried an 11 week old baby, her third child. We chatted for a while and she told me how lonely she was being at home all day with her little girl. She explained that she longed to have someone to talk to and how she just wanted to be able to make some friends. She said she was so happy to have a newborn again but she had forgotten how dull looking after a baby can be. Her honesty was refreshing and although I felt sad that she was feeling this way, I was so pleased that I am involved in leading a baby and toddler group that can make a big difference to people just like her. I was able to offer her a simple invitation to attend our group the next day, knowing there would be people there who could provide the very thing she was so in need of.

Her story isn’t an ‘isolated’ case though!

A major survey carried out by Netmums, questioned 5,300 mums on the specific challenges to mums' happiness and wellbeing. It revealed that many 21st Century mums are lonely and isolated, and even unwell, because of the pressures they face and a lack of local community support.

The alarming results highlight a lack of support from friends and family with 53% of mums saying they don't see their family enough and 58% would like more friends to share their problems and experiences with. This is leaving many mums without the day-to-day support they need, and a third of all mums are feeling stressed because of the loneliness and boredom they face.

The stresses felt by modern mums are very different to that of our parents’ generation whose key source of support for young families was traditionally the extended family. Mums are more likely to turn to a friend or a website for advice rather than a family member for support and this is because often family members don't live in the same town or indeed country.

Running a toddler group provides you with a unique opportunity to build relationships with people from your community and support them in their role as parents or carers. A simple invitation like the one I had the privilege of offering to a mum on the playground can serve to break the day-to-day sense of isolation and loneliness that many parents may feel. You may just be that lifeline that someone is waiting for.

It’s not just mums who are in need of support; don’t forget dads, grandparents and other carers. It can often be harder for them to find friendships, perhaps you could introduce them to other members of your group who are in a similar situation or suggest other groups, courses and events they could attend as well as your own.

Be encouraged! Through the simple act of just being there and caring you are making a real difference to your community.

Last Updated 28 March 2011